One day, I finally decided that I just HAD to confess my feelings to Garfield. It looks like the real lesson we can take from such a majesty of a videogame is that the real Garfield were the Garfs we made along the way. When I am in need of guidance, I turn to the sky and cry out, "Garfield, oh Garfield, where art thou?" But I realize that he was inside of all of us all along. As if Garfield looked at me and said "You want my money? Take it, it's yours my child."Īlso, I used to be homeless, and since playing Garfield Kart, my foundations have never felt stronger. It seems that every time I collected a coin in-game, it would be transferred to my real life bank account. I must say, I am quite the player, that is to say I've been around the block, and after Garfield Kart, my sex life has never been better.Īfter playing for about 30 minutes, I could feel my wallet becoming heavier by the second. Upon loading into the game, I found that my instagram DM's were loaded with both attractive men AND women, begging for a chance with me. I felt my butthole loosen for the first time in years, as it turns out, he had also cured my anal cavities of cancerous growths. It felt like he really pulled me into his sweet yet delectable embrace. You are safe now." Garfield reached his hand out to me and I grabbed it. My mom was absent for most of my life, but Garfield said to me "It's okay, my son. Instantly, I felt this almost spiritual sense of relief which reminded me of being in my mother's caring arms as an infant. I needed something to escape, and I found this game of my beloved cartoon cat figure, so I figured I would try it out. He gazed at me in such a way that made me feel like he had peered into my very soul and scooped me into his fluffy orange arms.īefore I bought this game I had been doing crack cocaine for about 2 years. The moment I loaded up the game I saw Garfield himself stare me into my eyes, I immediately felt safer than I ever had in my life. This game changed my life for the better. I don't mean this in a metaphorical sense. Let me just start by saying this game is truly magical.
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